Title: 20 Ways Brendon Urie Annoys Spencer Smith
Disclaimer: Ninety percent of this is probably true.
Summary: Warped Tour is awesome when you're Brendon Urie.
A/N: This serves no purpose other than to entertain and possibly infuriate.
1. Call him a pretty lady.
2. Tell him Ryan never truly wanted to be his best friend and only used him for his applesauce and good looks.
3. Change his ring tone to a Miley Cyrus song. He hates Miley Cyrus. No one- not even Ryan- knows why.
4. Call him over and over again, just to hear his phone ring.
5. Tell him that guitarists are better than drummers. Don't tell him why you think this. He won't be mad because you're insulting drummers. He'll be mad because you lack circumstantial proof.
6. Go into his stash of snacks under his bunk, take his hordes of skittles, eat all but the green ones. He hates the green ones.
7. When he asks why you did it, tell him that the green skittles need love too.
8. Smear some of Michael Guy Chislett's Vegimite on his drum kit.
9. Hide his drumsticks in the Cobra's bus.
10. Give out his phone number on twitter.
11. When he yells at you for it, tell him you thought he could use a new friend since Ryan isn't really his friend at all.
12. Jerk off in his bunk while he's elsewhere.
13. Get a video camera and record him. When he asks what you're doing, tell him you're making an eHarmony bio video for him.
14. Run, because he's about to choke you.
15. Take pictures of him through out the day and make LOLsmiths out of them. (Like LOLcats)
16. Go on wikipedia and completely change his history. Make it so it says he's a bigamist, has eighteen children in twelve countries and he hordes cats. Just...a crazy amount of cats.
17. During an interview, when asked what you'd be doing if you weren't in a band, let everyone answer...then say, “Spencer's mom.”
18. During a live show, dedicate a song to Spencer. Then play an acoustic version of “She's a Handsome Woman”.
19. Tell him his jeans make his butt look fat, and not in that “Omg I would so fuck that ass” way.
20. Invest in a body guard that is significantly bigger than Zack because you're not making it through this tour in one piece.
A/N: Out of absolute boredom, this was written. Right about now, I'll write anything, so ideas are welcome. Anything to get me out of this flunk I'm in.